I have found that many of your relationships change. Some people simply don't know what to say to you. They don't know how to act. Some poeople think they may "catch" the cancer. Some don't want to be around you because you are newly single. (Like it was a choice) You and your spouse used to easily fit into parties, events and dinners. You were always an even. Now you are an odd. What does that mean? What do people do with you?
You find people some are with you for the wrong reasons. They feel entitled to know everything that is going on in your life. They want to help to make themselves feel better, not because they care. They are nosy. Most of those people slowly disappear as time goes on. You were once an object of display, now people are past staring and some past caring, wrapped up in their own lives.
Sometimes you will want to talk, or at least I did, and others you won't. Tonight we attended a neighborhood Halloween Party and it was all about keeping it together for the boys. Not breaking down when Reed wanted to be carried a mile through the neighborhood. Not breaking down when entire families were visible and ours wasn't. Trying not to focus on the loss and overwhelming hurt that has consumed our day and will continue to consume the weekend. Not only did Daniel miss this event but he also missed the trunk or treating at school today.
I'm so lonely tonight. I miss you deeply.
Meet the Author (me)
Driven by a need to help others. I have known from a young age that this is what I wanted to do. This is my very real, somewhat sarcastic, look into my newfound widowhood. I hope this site will help you as much as it helps me.