I struggle with who to tell what. It's not a secret that my husband died. That my children lost their father but I can't very well tell every person we meet that the boys' dad died. I don't want them treated differently, nor do I want them looked with sad eyes. I do want to protect my children and sometimes when they are being silly or difficult or angry I do want him cut a little slack. It's a hard choice. Who and how do you tell people your childrens’ dad, your spouse, is gone?
At a T-ball game today one of Daniel's coworkers came to help Lucas play and the coach came up and introduced himself. This was the first time a man had been there and he asked Lucas "Is this your dad?" It is an innocent question. I was out of ear shot on the sidelines with Reed, but Daniel's coworker came over and told me he responded "No, my dad is in heaven."
It's a proud moment because as a four-year-old he's extremely good at articulating his feelings but is also a sad moment because the loss that he feels as a four-year-old. Why should he be explaining things? Yes his dad should be there. Mesothelioma took that from him. From us. The other adult apologized. He didn’t need to. The news takes others’ breaths away to, which is why it is hard to determine who to tell and why. It has become so matter of fact for him. He does a better job at sharing the truth than I probably do. However when I reflect he is more than likely going to have a very blunt, to the point personality, as his dad and I both do and did.
Meet the Author (me)
Driven by a need to help others. I have known from a young age that this is what I wanted to do. This is my very real, somewhat sarcastic, look into my newfound widowhood. I hope this site will help you as much as it helps me.