Tis the happiest time of the year. Or is it? For most of us the joy brought on by the holidays can’t be squashed by even the grumpiest person around. This is the time of year where there are extended breaks from work, twinkling lights, large decorated trees and Santa’s around every corner. Snowmen, reindeer and garland. Copious amounts of sweets and extra time with our families and friends. I grew up in a household where Christmas was a big deal, it was magical.
This tradition is something I have tried to recreate for my own family but with the holiday season also come extra stressors. This is a time of year when loss becomes more apparent. Financial stressors are of epidemic proportions. You try desperately to fulfill your children’s every want and desire which brings on added layers of stress. Stress often comes hand in hand with anxiety. And for me this year there is some anger.
What has changed? This is the second holiday season without Daniel but this year the shock is gone. The haze that I walked through the first eighteen months has lifted. Now a red haze is trying to blanket my season and not a happy candy cane red haze. It is taking a concerted effort to not let the anger take over. This is a difficult task for me as I have always been quite fiery, something I will blame on the color of my hair. The unfairness of the situation is strong. I am ready for a fight.
I fully understand that this is not fair either. I have two choices here. I can continue to be angry and let the haze settle over my home and set in for the next several weeks or I can choose to fight back against this stage of grief.
I choose to retrain my brain. Anyone can do this. I choose to continue to move forward, as little as though steps may be, I choose to stay in forward motion. I am shifting my mindset and I am vowing this season to do several things:
I know how difficult the holidays can be, but it’s up to you what you make of them.
Meet the Author (me)
Driven by a need to help others. I have known from a young age that this is what I wanted to do. This is my very real, somewhat sarcastic, look into my newfound widowhood. I hope this site will help you as much as it helps me.