Money. Kids. Work. Responsibilities at home. Activities outside of the house. These are the things that started arguments in our household. We were not perfect. I know not to go to bed angry. I know not to throw stones. I know not to say things when I’m angry or worse when I’m drinking. I know that things once said cannot be taken back. I know these things but it didn't stop me from making those mistakes during our marriage.
When your life is rocked and flipped upside down you look find perspective. It's easy to wish to have done things better. You realize there may never be enough money. No one knows the exact recipe for raising successful kids. Happiness is the most important thing to get from work. You are both doing as much inside the home as you can. Both of you require breaks outside.
When Daniel and I began planning our wedding to each other our main goal was to make it personal. I wanted our guests to walk away knowing each of us a little better. Bright colors. Carolina Panther grooms cake. Lots of booze and music were necessities. Making our ceremony our own was imperative to us. We sat down with our officiant and began laying out our ceremony piece by piece. Each word spoken, each song sang, each reading was hand-picked by us together. I had known I wanted to write my own vows to Daniel, however I was unsure how he would feel about it. This was after all what a wedding was all about; what was tying us together forever. I was anxious about asking Daniel his thoughts on writing his own vows but once I broached the subject he never even hesitated.
As the days came closer and it was time to turn our vows in so-to-speak Daniel began getting worried. “Don't you think we should share them with each other? What if they don't go together? What is there isn't a flow,” he asked? All will be fine I assured him. They are for us, no one else, so it doesn’t matter if they “go” together. I wanted the surprise. I wanted to share our vows in front of our family and friends for the first time. I wasn't worried. I didn't have a clue what he had written but I knew from the first few words he had blown my vows right out of the water.
Today, I offer everything that I am to you.
I offer my past, my present, my future, my success and failure, my joy and sadness, and, most of all, my love.
I promise to honor and care for you;
to support and encourage you;
to grow and change with you;
and to always be grateful.
I promise to be compassionate;
to be faithful and honest; to listen;
and to nurture the dreams that we share together.
I vow to enjoy life with you;
to laugh and to cry with you;
and to just have fun with you.
Your beauty, kindness, courage, experience, intelligence and your independent spirit are all reasons why I am here today. I intend to walk beside you, hand-in-hand, in the journey of life, from this day forward, until the day that I die.
As I stand here today I cannot express the overwhelming feelings of happiness and excitement as I look toward our future together. I feel truly blessed to have met my soulmate, my partner, my life long best friend. I have a reading that describes our love. I want to share it with you today:
Love is friendship caught on fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.
Our love caught fire when you came into my life. I knew I would be forever changed. You challenge me daily and help me be a better me. I promise that I will walk by your side, love and encourage you. I will listen and share with you. I will share your laughter and tears and look forward to growing old with you by my side. I love you.
As you read our vows to each other remember why you are with the person you are. Instead of noticing their flaws, celebrate them. It's ok if they leave toothpaste bombs in the sink. It’s ok if they drink milk directly from the carton. It is ok that they didn’t add the item they finished to the grocery list, making you return quicker than you anticipated. It's ok if the laundry didn't get folded for a few days. It's ok if the cabinet doors are left ajar. It is ok if the kids missed their baths or forgot their homework. No one intentionally forgot to tell you about their upcoming work function. Falling into the toilet, while gross, especially in the middle of the night, is not the end of the world.
Laugh together. Love passionately. Don't go to bed angry. Forget the stressors and simply love one another.
Happy Anniversary Daniel.
Meet the Author (me)
Driven by a need to help others. I have known from a young age that this is what I wanted to do. This is my very real, somewhat sarcastic, look into my newfound widowhood. I hope this site will help you as much as it helps me.